DayofPal—A growing number of Israeli combat soldiers are abandoning front-line duties in Gaza, citing severe psychological distress, moral trauma, and a lack of institutional support, according to a recent investigation by Haaretz.
The report, based on multiple first-hand testimonies, reveals the hidden emotional toll of Israel’s ongoing military campaign in the Gaza Strip.
Since the war began, thousands of conscripted soldiers have reportedly left combat roles, many vowing never to return. Mental health professionals within the Israeli army are raising alarm bells over what some describe as a silent mental health crisis, as cases of emotional breakdown, PTSD symptoms, and moral injury continue to rise due to repeated war crimes the soldiers were perpeterating.
“I Knew It Was Me”
In one harrowing account, “Yoni” (a pseudonym), a Nahal Brigade soldier, described mistakenly firing on two Palestinian children during a clearing mission in Beit Lahia. “I jumped up with my Negev [machine gun] and sprayed hundreds of bullets,” he said. “Then I saw their bodies — maybe eight or ten years old. Full of bullet wounds. Covered in blood. I knew it was me.”
When his commander arrived, the response was cold: “They entered the kill zone. It’s their fault. That’s war.”
The incident left Yoni suffering from flashbacks, nausea, and deep guilt. He was eventually removed from combat after meeting with a mental health officer who introduced him to the concept of “moral injury”, psychological damage caused by actions that violate one’s own ethical beliefs.
“Fifty Bullets a Day. Kids Too.”
Another soldier, “Beni,” a sniper also with the Nahal Brigade, has spent months overseeing humanitarian aid deliveries in northern Gaza. He describes being ordered to shoot anyone who crossed a designated line.
“A line — and if they cross it, I’m allowed to shoot them,” Beni added.
“It’s like a game of cat and mouse. They keep trying to come from different directions, and I’m there with the sniper rifle, and the officers are yelling at me, ‘Take him down, take him down.”
“Commanders scream at me: ‘Take the shot!’ So I shoot. Fifty, sixty bullets a day. I stopped counting how many I hit. Lots. Kids too,” he admitted.
Beni says he’s haunted by the faces of those he shot. He wakes up in cold sweats, sometimes wets the bed, and suffers recurring dreams where he kills his own family. Now, he’s actively seeking a discharge. “I thought I was protecting my people,” he said. “But it was a mistake. I just want out — if I still can.”
A Culture of Silence and Stigma
The testimonies collected suggest that Israeli combat culture discourages vulnerability. Requests for psychological help are often met with ridicule or suspicion. In one account, a soldier named Aharon said his commander mocked him when he asked to see a mental health officer, accusing him of cowardice and betrayal.
Eventually reassigned to a logistics unit, Aharon said it was only then he could breathe again. “All I wanted was not to go back to Gaza,” he said.
Soldiers report a lack of debriefing after traumatic incidents, poor access to mental health services, and an institutional reluctance to acknowledge the psychological cost of long-term deployments in a highly volatile and morally complex war.
While the Israeli army officially acknowledges that “some” soldiers have been reassigned or discharged due to mental health concerns, officers and soldiers interviewed for the investigation claim the actual numbers are far higher. “Every day, someone begs to be pulled from the battlefield,” one officer admitted anonymously.
Military sources insist operational needs are being met, but behind the scenes, entire units are reportedly seeing a collapse in morale. Soldiers describe feeling like expendable tools in a grinding war with no clear end and no psychological safety net.
The Haaretz investigation paints a picture of a military apparatus unprepared to handle the moral and emotional burden placed on its soldiers. Many of them entered service with a sense of purpose but now carry invisible wounds that, they say, may never heal.
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